teetalks

I think my teenage self would be confused to see 37 year old Theresa. Going by the name, Theresa. Remember when you had 100 nicknames because you had stickers on your face and blue hair? You were aimless but passionate.

My inner world was holding on to my little girl mind so tightly. I didn’t want to be kissed, I didn’t want to be held. I wanted to be understood, by another girl who had their own complicated inner world, that was different than mine.

I had fleeting crushes, but one love stuck for a long time, and I ruined it. She got married recently and she looked so beautiful and full of joy. I couldn’t be happier for her. I remember my inner world being seen in a way that I knew what love felt like , love outside of friend and family. I was in love.

Eventually I moved on, obviously. Had a few loves after that and now I have my lovely wonderful sweetheart, who sees my inner world outside.

My books and mess of art supplies and stickers placed everywhere, except now, not on me.

And I don’t go by Theresa here, no, no professionalism in this household.

He nicknames me and I am a little girl, whole, adult woman, whole. My blue hair is on the inside but, he can see her.

I am never unseen now.