teetalks

I have always been vulnerable, transparent and honest. I never knew when to keep my cards close to my vest or whatever the hell that phrase is. I am, always, an open book. I can keep a secret if needed, especially others secrets. I spill my verbal drink on any surface that can catch it. Is anyone listening? Because Im still talking.

I never needed external validation but reassurance that Im not aloof or as confused as I believe myself to be. Though, even if someone said I was, I would disagree because I am my biggest supporter.

I have had some friendships and relationships that, didn’t make me doubt my worth but made me doubt my direction. They misguided me and wanted me to either not succeed or just not succeed them.

I am very loyal by nature, I cannot help it. More than that, I am protective and once I see someone trying to drag me or my loved ones down, I will separate or defend. I wish I could have those revelations and realizations sooner but I am naive. I trust people, projecting my kindness and sincerity on to them.

Am I foolish?

Probably.

Thats ok though, no matter how many times Ive been betrayed, hurt, mislead, I was still myself. Kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful. I will never change that. I am, I guess, a work in progress or whatever self help books tell you. I never read one but I can assume they’re repetitive and annoying.

You know what’s annoying? Actually, is time wasted.

Sure lessons are learned but I mean, can I have my time back? I could have been having more fun with people who genuinely cared for me, not their version of me or whatever they needed from me.

I am a celebration of my own life. I shine my light on everyone around me, I will be your cheerleader, fireworks, sparkler, whatever you need. Ive been told Im arrogant by a little few, you’re just intimidated and threatened by my unwavering self love.

I don’t hide my insecurities, they don’t matter to you. If they do then mind your own fucking business. I feel like I have never been so happy and free. Life is loving me back.

To feel seen and understood is nice but I don’t need you to feel me or believe in me. I am blinded by my own sunlight guiding me wherever I want to go. Lighting my own path.

LOL I definitely sound like a self help book.

Enjoy it then, if you’re reading. If you’re not, who cares, I don’t.